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Hello everyone!

While things are still hectic, I’m going to stop pretending that I’m going to schedule these posts. Running a blog while trying to journal every day and taking care of an adorable and curious 6 month old is like trying to juggle eggs while balancing on a tight rope. But, I will be traveling to Kansas City soon to help out my in laws and hopefully will have some down time to really focus on the blog!

John 21:22

When you’re in a crowd of people and someone laughs, do you turn around to see if they’re laughing at you? Have you tried to change yourself to someone else’s mold?

Why? Peter asks Jesus what about him? And Jesus replies “If it’s my will that he stay,s what is that to you? You follow me!” [paraphrased]

Too often, as women, we find ourselves comparing and competing and not measuring up. Why do we do that? You compare yourself to Sally over there. And try to be just like Sally. Dress like her, talk like her, laugh like her, do everything like her. But, then, you see Lacy over in the other corner. And then you try to be like her. And go through the whole process again. God created you differently for a reason. He gives us each different gifts. Some people can sing like no one else while others can teach. If we were all the same, there would be no point. We all have different gifts and different traits because he made us all individually. So why would you waste the beauty that God developed you to be. He worked so incredibly hard on each one of us.

I have said before about how I never really fit in. I never really was like everyone else. I’ve always been unique and weird and loud. I was never a cool kid. So the comparison game hits me hard. All the time. When there are inside jokes, or things said but not explained, I get self conscious immediately. I always think “Oh, great. They are talking about me. I said something stupid. They are totally laughing at me.” In reality they could be laughing at the fact that their shoe has poop on it. I mean, seriously. It most likely has NOTHING to do with me. But, I have been so bullied, its like my first reaction. Always.

But Jesus wasn’t just talking to Peter. He’s talking to me. He’s talking to you. “So what of it? Why does that matter? You follow me! You focus on me! You want to be like ME. NOT HER. Stay in your own lane!”

Lets try and stay in our own LANE. Lets follow Jesus. Lets seek him fully. Lets focus on him.

Dear Lord, hear our prayers. Hear our needs. Help us to focus on you. To seek you only and stop comparing ourselves to everyone else. Let us wholeheartedly be yours. Empty us of this world and our own insecurities and fill us with you. Make us a vessel for your love and kindness and light. Be with everyone who happens upon this, and help it speak to them. Let them hear whatever they need from you. Let this stretch to whomever is seeking you and needing you. In your son’s name I pray, Amen.

Wowza.

Well, I waited and waited for someone to tell me what they needed me to hear.

Literally no responses. So, okie dokie.

It’s only been four days. But I guess I’m just gonna do what I’ve been doing!

So the last few days, the last couple weeks really, have been hectic but really good! I’ve been able to spend more time with my family, friends and keep my head on straight.

I started a prayer box for my church! God really laid that on my heart last week. I felt like we were lacking some true prayer warriors. So I contacted the preachers wife, and talked to her about my ideas and she had been thinking about something similar! Last sunday after I introduced it, I got an overwhelming response! Just means that we truly needed it. I’m so happy I can help provide that. And so many ladies want to join me in praying for everyone! So excited for this new project!

I have been journaling still. Falling deeper into that. Truly loving it. I’m remembering verses better, there’s an overwhelming community out there! So I have tried to eliminate any and all drama and negativity in my life! I don’t have my personal instagram any more. I think I told y’all about that last week. So now, I just have my blog instagram. And the only people I follow are other christian women! Mostly other bible journalers. But only christian ladies who post positive and Godly things. I can tell you I’m not stressing about how I look or how I dress or how I eat or any of the other worldly things. The only thing I strive for now, is how to have a better relationship with Christ. I want to dive in deep. I want to learn more, read more, and be more like Christ.

I also downloaded a new app that everyone kept talking about. Its called First5. Its an amazing daily devotional app! They have hit it on spot every day for the last week! Which is when I started it. So they were probably still hitting it head on before that.

But alas, I felt like I needed to check in with you. I felt like it had been longer than 4 days since I last posted. But, it really wasn’t. So here are a couple of entries I’ve done since I last shared any of my journals!

I hope y’all have a stellar week. And if anything comes to mind on what you need from me, you can always contact me. But if not, I will just keep doing me. 🙂

Bible Journaling Process Video

Hello! Well, I was gonna do my super awesome page that I posted yesterday on instagram. But that failed. Hard. So I will try to do another process video. Because this one isn’t very fun! It’s boring. And at a funny angle. I learned A LOT in just making this one video!

But in case you’re curious how my process looks while I’m journaling here’s a super quick video! Just one minute! [Which is kind of frustrating because this took me an hour. And that’s not including where I had to stop the video to go feed my son who woke up!] But you’ll get the idea.

More tomorrow. But for now, I have got to stop staying up this late! See! I told you, I have to choose between sleep, husband time and the blog! But I’m super excited to get to post tomorrow! I have some exciting news! Keep posted 🙂

Proverbs 14-17

Hello! Well, this challenge was way more difficult than I imagined. Having quiet time to yourself with a 5 month old, a husband and living in your parent’s house is nearly impossible. The only time I can take for myself is late at night. After I’ve put my son to sleep. My husband works long hours, so I find myself choosing between spending time with him, sleeping or blogging/journaling. I have kept up with my reading missing a day here and there and catching up the next, blogging and journaling and keeping y’all informed is pretty hard.

My son is teething. So it’s like I have a newborn again, and he wakes up every few hours wanting to eat. And I am a sleeper. I like my sleep. Before I had my son, I could sleep in until like 2pm every day if I didn’t have a job. So, I like to sleep. And my husband works so much, that when he does get home, I like to talk to him about his day and catch up. And for the last 2 days, my in laws drove in from Kansas City, and so I’ve been spending time with them as well. So to say the least, this has been difficult!

So instead of sharing my last four days with you, I may just share one or two. I’m sorry! But, if all goes as planned, I will do a walk through of my bible, and show you all the wonderful entries I’ve done. I am trying to journal every day to keep myself in the word. Also very difficult. But, God comes first!

I also planned out my year and things I want to blog about. After the month of January, I will probably blog once or twice a week to keep myself present with my family. [If y’all have tips on how to balance journaling/reading the bible along with family time, let me know! I’m the worst at time management.]

So the first entry, is Matthew 27. Reading this entire chapter always brings tears to my eyes. Because God is so great and so loving, He sent His ONLY son to die for us. And reading about that death, just amazes me. He did this for us. For you and me, for your children and friends, for your parents and cousins. For us. He went through unbelievable pain just so we can be free and loved and forgiven. Wow. That’s amazing. I can’t imagine my own son going through pain who may or may not love him and follow his teachings. People who may never thank him for everything he did and for people to mock him and disobey him. Just so they can be forgiven. I don’t even want to picture or imagine the type of pain that must of brought God. Seeing his son go through everything he did. Next time you read this, imagine it being your own child. It brings an entirely different perspective on it.

And the second, is Luke 1:46-47. I love this verse. I pray that my soul continues to magnify the Lord! I want to praise and thank Him in all I do! This page did not turn out the way I wanted though. But like I’ve mentioned before, this is not for a pinterest-perfect bible journal. It’s not for you. It’s for me. And the Lord. I’m having to be adamant in trusting the Lord in every aspect of my life. I’m learning how to let go and give it to God. I feel like I’m constantly reminding myself that life happens in HIS time and not mine. I’m ready to do so many things in my personal life, and He’s reminding me, that I’m not ready yet! But now with instagram, and following positive Christian people has been super encouraging and thoroughly inspiring. So to remind myself that my spirit rejoices in God and my soul magnifies the Lord is important. I don’t want to get caught up in the little things. I want to see the big picture. And I hope that you are able to focus on that too!

I’ve been learning so many new techniques from the journalers I’m following! And they are all so inspirational! If you’re wanting to get more positive in your life, I highly suggest starting to follow other christians. Replace them with the celebrities in your feed. I find myself wanting to have a relationship with God like others rather than wanting to have a perfect body, a perfect bag and a perfect outfit or just a perfect life in general. Leaving my personal instragram and creating one for my blog alone has probably been the best decision I’ve made in a long time.

Dear Lord thank you for bring those to my blog. I hope they read this and read the scriptures and hear what you need them to hear. Thank you for everything you’re doing to move in my life. Keep me present in my walk with you. And keep those who may be feeling lost on your path. Remind them that you are taking care of them. And that you have a plan. In your son’s name I pray, amen.